It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
