i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
