Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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