I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
