Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
