shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
