omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
