according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize