Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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