Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
