how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm passing your future prison.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
