so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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