he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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