drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
