You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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