big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
