i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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