Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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