i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
