I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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