Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Pants are for mortals
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
