i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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