his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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