it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
