no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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