I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
