and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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