Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize