need another drink. this is the easiest way
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
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Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize