I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
