um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
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I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
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These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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