either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
sex in a hospital.. check
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize