great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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