id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
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She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
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Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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