Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
