what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
