I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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