I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
