they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
