NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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