i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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