Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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