Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
