You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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