i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize