I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize