i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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