The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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