she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
