I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
