For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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