Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
