i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
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I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
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I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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