I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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