Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
