Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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