what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
