My balls are so social today.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
whose parrot is this?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
