He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize