I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
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Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
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You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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