3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
